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READ!!!

2004-09-13T02:11:30Z

<B>After about a year of procastinating...DUNDUNDAH! I bring you my new, regular name journal. ^^ _grey_faerie_ Add it to your friend's list if you'd like to remain my friend!</B>

Wee! ^^

2004-09-12T22:21:50Z

Ok, so...I had a perfectly good Homecoming dress, but it was too...gowny for the dance. o0 Yaknow? So now I have a sort of costume. *evil, smug look* The quiet one shall blow minds. It's goth...princess...Eee! I'm so excited. ^^ I'll post pics once I get the skirt. ^ ~

OH DEAR GOD!

2004-09-11T17:28:44Z

My lj wedding by chynafox
username
age
city
you will marry	heretic_prophet
flower girl	dragonoflight
best man	tanglefire
bridesmaid	outofsight4
you will have your last fling with	imlaithwen
registrar	hencellina
secretly wants to marry you themself	greblin
date of the wedding	November 19, 2006
number of times you do it on your wedding night	34

Quiz created with MemeGen!

And when I say I didn't tweak it...I swear on the holy bible. Two of those... 0_0 Eep!

Blah Blah Blah

2004-09-11T16:38:33Z

September 11th today, but I guess that's pretty obvious. ^^; Ah well. Bad memories...it's been what, 3 years now? That's unbelievable to me.

And I don't mean to be bitchy...but dear God! >< Some of my RL friends are SO shallowy and ditzy! I now relay one of their entries:

hmm rainy again.

leigh came home with me and we watched it rain. called my BBF.

then saw the news paper in the yard which just pretty much gave us an excuse to go jump in the rain. so we go jump like 5 steps of my porch and run in the rain! so much fun! haha

then i taught leigh some guitar. me leigh and linds are so gunna start a band! hahaha yesssssssssss ahahhha

ha then dad took me and leigh to her house ahha had to run up her million steps to the door while she got the key in the backyard ahhahahah. slipped like 1000 times hahahahahah funny

later me and leigh met linds for dinner at brogans YUMMY then went to the movies ahhaha like RAN in hahahah ;) the movie was super good but really confussing. wicker park. the fact that lil 7th graders were throwing chocolate candy at us didn't make it better hahaha

hahah but tonight was fun :)

leave a sweet one

Don't get me wrong - I love the girl, really I do. But damn! If my life was like that, I don't think I'd find it worth living...perhaps I would put other people out of the misery of having to know me. And I swear, I think she wears pink and polka dots every day! >< Thank God for black. It's the only thing that separates me from these animals.

Anyway, Rebecca invited me to stay the night and without consulting me, my mother said yes. Well...lessee. I stayed over at her house about...3 years ago. Heh, we were friends at that stoopid Catholic school. And now we're in high school together, and we're...complements to each other, I guess you could say. I'm crazy and happy - she's quiet and studious. And she swears I'm hilarious. o0 We really fit well together. But her mom hated me, HeHeHe. Ah well. She's losing out. ^ ~ But apparently she likes me again now, because she was telling my mom how cool she thinks I am and how I have a good effect on Rebecca. Whoa! o0 Words I thought I'd never hear!

Ack, also, I must add this for my own gratification. >< Dear God, am I THE LUCKIEST girl on the PLANET. I'm talking to Josh...and my boyfriend really owes him. Josh reminds me just what I have that almost no one else does. - - "That sucks balls" is probably the most intelligent thing he's said in the past hour. >< 'it was funny when we got back, it was like midnight, and every1 on bus 2 was complaining because no one was accepting dares on truth or dare, and our bus was like, screw truth or dare, we all just got naked' Oh my goodness!

And he just asked me, 'wanna go hang out somewheres?' No, I'm afraid I have some deadly disease and only five hours to live. And it has become apparent that he doesn't know we're just friends, but he has NO reason to think otherwise. Going to a dance is going to a dance. So screw him. I'm keeping him at arms-length. He touches me, and he'll lose a fucking limb!

It would be about this time that I start worrying for my sanity. o0

EDIT: Mmm, new LJ theme makes me feel better... ^^

Wee...

2004-09-10T20:14:07Z

Shitty day, completely and utterly. It's pouring outside, has been since this morning. And I got to start the day off right - my mother was screaming and swearing at me for not knowing where she put the bread away last time so I could make MY BROTHER a sandwich. Ahh, and my finger really hasn't hurt since the first couple days, but God Almighty, does it now! She grabbed me hand and twisted it. >< And as soon as I got home, more yelling and evil looks, but she had a friend of hers over...so I really don't want to know what it's going to be like once she gets back from taking her friend home. >>

On good news, I guess, Rebecca is going to call me so we can do something this weekend. Rebecca's neato, like my studious side. ^ ~ And I did really well on my Algebra II test...I think. ^^; *gulp*

Ah well, I better get moving fast lest I not be able to finish my net-rounds tonight.

Wee! Horny!

2004-09-09T21:54:10Z

Ok...so I just wanted to see what a horny penguin looked like. o0 So shot me! Nyah!

Anyway, I went to the doctors' today. Um, she went to feel my hand, barely touched it, and jumped back covering her mouth. You think that's a *bad* thing? ^^; Yes...ah well. She's referring me to a hand specialist because just in case I don't glow now, I need more x-rays. Silly me for thinking I didn't. >> Ah well. Since I've already been to this *certain* hand specialist 3 times for a finger I broke before and didn't tell anyone, I think we're going to get to know each other on a more friend/friend basis. ^ ~

LOL! Well if that isn't blunt. ^ ~ Well...I wouldn't know really, whether or not I have that. But I do have an addictive personality...I don't want to think about it! >< *covers eyes from mental image* But who shall cure me? o0 Even scarier thought...

Myeh-ish Eee!

2004-09-08T21:57:29Z

If that's possible. o0 But ah well. So...today...I got a Homecoming date...kinda. Not really. As you all know - you've been told SO SO SO many times ^ ~ - I love my boyfriend with ALL my heart, would never be unfaithful, the whole nine yards. He knows it too, the poor dear. >< But anyway, so, I'm going with my friend Josh. I haven't really mentioned him before...um...he's almost 16, he's Jewish, he has thick, curly black hair...I think that's it. ^^; Oh, and he plays almost every instrument under the sun. After Algebra II, he dashed after me in the hallway, yanked my bookbag backwards, and caught me. ^^; That's always a good way. He said, "So...are you going to Homecoming?" "Ya...I guess..." "Do you have a date?" "Um...no..." "You want to go with me?" *stalling for time* "You sure...? Really, really, really sure...?" "Ya, I've been waiting a while to ask you." "Ok then...I will." Ya, so anticlimatic. ^ ~

But anyway, I'm sure he knows we're just going as friends, but if he doesn't, I'll inform him. Mwehehehe! The only bad part is that besides other people not knowing that we're just friends, one of my REALLY good friend used to go out with him...oh, and my mom is going to kill me. >> I haven't told her yet. You know that sort of mom. When you don't have a date - "Oh God! You simply HAVE to go with a cute little boy your age! *dimple smile*". When you DO have a datish person (even a friend that she LOVED before) - "Sydney, I don't think he's your...calibre. He's going to bring your reputation down...other guys won't want to date you." It's not a freakin' date! And I don't CARE about other guys. Only one matters. And he said it was fine. So huzzah! Screw you, biatch.

Ooh, and Josh is driving his Camaro! Weehee! No, I'm not excited because he LURVES speed just as much as I do. ^ ~ Ack, and I just got off the phone with him. Jeffery and Dustin are going with us. This is going to be SO much fun now!

Alas for the lack of dance-date perfection. *pines for her boyfriend* >>

Now, for a listypoo!

Yes, a list. ^^

A - Act (your) age - Hmm...I've been told I act about 25. o0 Scary.
B - Breast size - HeHeHe, wouldn't you like to know...
C - Chore you hate - Doing dishes. ><
D - Dad's name - Russell
E - Essential make up item - Myeh, I don't care about that.
F - Favorite actor - Rowan Atkinson! ^^
G - Gold or silver - Argentum! [Silver.]
H - Hometown - Don't have one. ^^; How disfunctional am I? ^ ~
I - Instruments you play - Piano, bodrhan.
J - Job title - HeHeHe, "Honour Guard." o0
K - Kids - Depends...maybe.
L - Living arrangements - Parentals. ><
M - Mum's name - Barbara
N - Number of people you've slept with - HeHeHe...none.
O - Overnight hospital stays - Many... *sigh*
P - Phobia - Needles, deep dark water, windows at night. o0
Q - Quote you like - Hmm...I dunno...
R - Religious affiliation - Lutheran, I guess. ^^;
S - Siblings - Younger brother AKA Glorfy or Erik.
T - Time you wake up? - 6:45 schooldays.
U - Unique habit - Um...I kinda mess with my hair. Does that count? ^^;
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - None!
W - Worst habit - Hmm...punching people to greet them. ^ ~
X - X-rays you've had - Eee! I'm surprised I don't glow. SO MANY.
Y - Yummy food you make - Hmm, I've been told a lot of stuff. I dunno though...
Z - Zodiac Sign - Taurus.

Myeh...

2004-09-07T21:07:53Z

Wow, I wonder how many of my entries have that title. ^^; Heh. So anyway, my computer is messed up...again. *sigh* I can't believe it. I've got to try to fix it, because I really don't want to have to wait for my dad. The problem says "UNMOUNTABLE_BOOT_VOLUME" so I assume that means the volume thingy is off when it starts. o0 But I dunno! *sobs* Ah well. It's not like I had anything important to do. < /sarcastic >

Anyway, the weather here today was TERRIBLE. At my high school, we have an open campus that was probably built when we were still burning witches - ok, ok, only 1856. ^ ~ But still! It's terrible how it floods...and it seems that half of Georgia's tree-cover was lying on our sidewalks. o0 Which was odd. Oh, and a dead squirrel that when I passed it, thought Nacht might like. LOL. Ah well.

Today was kinda boring and lonely...normally I feel awesome on overcast days, but I've been in an extreme loneliness spell lately, so I don't think it helped. But I have to hurry up and try to get over that because I have an awful amount of homework and tests coming up just this week. - -; And I'm going to the doctor Thursday for my finger. She's going to say, "It's broken. Why didn't you come sooner?" Um...because you scare me? HeHeHe, don't let them see the fear in your eyes. >>

And once again, I just wanna draw. >< Why can't the world leave me be?! [Except you guys and select other people of course.]

EDIT: Ok...I missed my boyfriend by *19* minutes. You have NO IDEA how upset and sad that makes me...I told my parents I didn't want to go out to dinner. Then I told them I didn't want to stop at Hernendez's...and where does that leave me? Not being able to sleep well tonight, that's where. >< Stoopid people. *sobs*

Anyway...basically all day, I've felt rotten. Lemme try to explain. It feels like someone's cut the top of my head off and filled the space around my brain with ice-water. Anybody know what I mean? That and I'm exhausted...and dammit, like I said before, I've felt really alone lately. >> I guess I haven't gotten to talk to the people I love enough lately. And tomorrow we have a Rifle Team meeting...and I have to try to tell Major why I can't be on the team this year...it's going to break my heart. >< I'm going to say that I have too much homework, but the truth is that it kills me to go even a day without talking my boyfriend, Nacht, or Greb. Seriously. I go to bed at night and just kinda lay there and stare at the ceiling because I can't go to sleep. >> I know that's REALLY pathetic...but I can't do it. So, bye bye Rifle Team, I guess.

Ack, my mom is yelling at me really badly. >< I'm so sick of this. I'm sorry, but I'm kinda delicate when it comes to loud voices and mean names. - -

Eee! MUST See!

2004-09-06T20:54:32Z

Ok, must update, simply must. >> If you haven't seen "Hero," the indi film that they re-released after it hit it big, YOU MUST! ^^ It is SO inspiring. The plot is so twisting - four different stories with only 6 characters! And the colours, the symbolism, the meaning...THE COLOURS. oo Oh dear God, THE COLOURS. The colours, the movement, the intricate simplicity...it's absolutely stunning. THE COLOURS. oo [Just ignore the fact that it's all subtitles and Crouching Tiger, Hiding Dragon fighter. ^^;]

Wow... *was speechless* YOU MUST SEE IT. You can thank me later. ^ ~ COLOURS!

Puppy!

2004-09-06T00:14:54Z

Ah, finally. Ok, this is me holding Blossom and no...I'm not choking her. She was trying to bite me. She bites REALLY hard. >>

Hmm...

2004-09-05T16:40:13Z

Some odd stuff going on about my house, but oh well, need to talk to Nacht about it. >> *reminds self* So anyway, last night I had my friend over...once again, I'm not a bad kid, just...some of my friends...are...wild. LOL. That's the nicest way to put it. I have quite a long story I've never really told the whole of...and it's odd how events connect, terrible things that happen to you that make you want to just die bring you to complete happiness. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

I know what some people are going to think "attention-seeker," but that's not what this entry is about. First of all, this is the first time I really feel comfortable talking about it. Second, basically the only reason I'm online is because I want to help people, especially my friends, and I know the tendency people have to write-off others that are trying to help them because they don't feel like they understand what they're going through. I understand, but still. Knowing more about me and what *I've* come through might help others because they can A.] relate or B.] talk to me and feel that I understand, that's what I'm here for. ^^ And that's what this is here for.

Whit has been a very difficult subject in my life almost since when I first got to know him. In 7th and 8th grade, he was my best friend. I didn't really have anyone else. In 9th, I thought it would be same. Well, I was right...half the year at least. Wow, I have to start back even farther. o0 You see, when I first moved to Georgia, I went to a Catholic school for my first year, 6th grade. That...was perhaps one of the worst things that ever happened to me, although, I will say, it really has made me what I am today, be that good or bad. At this school, I was the only non-Catholic, I didn't fit in, and even worse, people hated me for no apparent reason. But there was one girl in particular, a girl whose father was a co-worker of my father's in an office of three men, all teachers of law for Customs and Border Patrol. Anyway, this girl threatened my life more than one time, but I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't think she was serious. Little did I know, she was completely serious. I found out just in the nick of time. I told the principal, the principal said I was lying 'since murder is a mortal sin.' I tried to point out that I thought the girl was perhaps in need of some psychiatric help and that she might be forgetting the fact that she would pay later, although I would pay now. The principal brushed me off as 'emotional.' Then I told my parents. My mother...my mother has a thing where she must ALWAYS be the victim - poor me, pity me. So of course, although it was my life that was in danger, it was her spotlight. I didn't want the attention - I just needed help, desperately. In the end, I escaped numerous possibly deadly brushes with her trying to calm her down with words or just literally...running until I knew she couldn't catch up.

Then I went to the public middle school, Glynn Middle. That's where I met Whit, and it didn't matter how close we were, I never told anyone what had happened. I didn't want to seem weak. This was probably the point at which I put up the barrier that I still keep up in RL, the one that won't let anyone see any of my weaknesses. And so, Whit got to know everything about me - he once called his knowledge 'the state of enlightenment' - everything but about this girl. And then came high school. I wasn't prepared to see her again, I don't think I ever would have had been. I re-enforced the barrier and tried to go about my classes as though she didn't exsist. The only problem with that was...she wasn't about to stop. She followed me around between classes, sat by me at lunch, asked other people who I liked and who my best friends were. I had no clue what she was going to but, but in the end, it hurt me worse than being afraid for my life. One day, Whit and I were talking in homeroom. He told me about how he had met this *really* sweet girl named Kristen and she had just been so nice to him, that he had asked her to homecoming. I told him how awesome that was and asked what her last name was, in case I knew her. Yes...the girl. She had come after my best friend. Naturally, I wanted to warn Whit...but you can't right tell a guy that really likes a girl, "She's only after you to hurt me," and I didn't really know at the time that that's what it was. I just didn't want Whit to get hurt. But I couldn't warn him because I would have to tell him the whole story...and I wasn't willing to do that. One of my weaknesses - I can't be brave to save others. So I tried to drop hints, but he didn't seem to understand, or maybe he didn't want to. I don't know.

Homecoming came and they went together. Seeing them...hurt me unbelievably. I don't hate anyone, but this girl...I thought she had already taken enough. She had taken who I used to be and who I thought I'd never be able to be again. And she was dancing with my best friend. Sitting at the table, trying not to watch them, on the brink of tears, a fellow shooter on the Rifle Team saw me. He came and sat next to me and asked me if I was ok. I said I didn't feel well. He said he wanted to talk to me to take my mind off it. We talked, and talked, and talked. Then we ended up dancing, and he was really sweet, and he told me that I would feel better in the morning and that hopefully I'd look back and think that the night was worthwhile, even though I was sick. And the next morning, I did. Two weeks later, he asked me out. While I was with him, Gary made me feel good. He was so strong and so protective that I felt safe, for the first time in several years. And he filled that whole that Whit had left when he had asked Kristen to be his girlfriend Homecoming night. But when you're using someone to fill a hole that someone even bigger left, you're liable to start doing things to fill the cracks. Gary wanted to. I told him I didn't, that I wouldn't. He got forceful. I told him to stop. He thought I was just shy. I told him that if he wanted sex, to look elsewhere. And he did. He dumped me the first night back to Rifle practice after the Christmas break.

I lost it, completely and utterly. Because not only was Gary and his protection gone, but the memory of Whit and what we had lost was back. And Kristen, and the threats, and the fear. But my parents didn't know that Gary and I had been going out really, so I couldn't rightly tell them that we had broken up, so I had no one to tell and it was all pent up. It was just too much. I couldn't see a way out, but one. I was suicidal. But I got on to check my email that night...I had a few of little importance, and then one from a guy that had commented on my art while I was gone and I had commented back on his, really amazed my his work and that he would even bother to comment on mine. We had talked a couple times and he seemed very knowledgable on the subject of art, so it was fun to talk to him. I read his email. 'Heya. It's just me.. I'm just telling you 'Hello' just before I head off to school ^__^ Take care! And be safe!' I read it again and decided to get on Yahoo messenger. He greeted me immediately and I said hi back. He said I had caught him just as he was getting offline. I said go ahead, but he said no, that it wouldn't be the first time he had stayed on for someone. I said alright, that that was very nice of him, that I appreciated it. He said that it was his pleasure. I asked him how he was. Same old, same old, but how was I? I thought about that for a moment and this...was the point at which I made a concious decision to bring down the barrier, but only a bit. I told him he didn't want to know, but he persisted. After a lot of coaxing, I told him the least of my worries - that I was considering breaking one of my fingers so that I wouldn't have to see Gary again, since I couldn't shoot with a broken finger. He said that that was crazy because even if I couldn't shoot, then I couldn't type to talk to him. I told him that in all truth, no offense meant, I didn't care. He didn't seem taken aback. He just told me that I was in a lot of pain and that I should let it cool before I did anything. I said I didn't think the pain would ever lessen, it seemed to be a steady flow. No reply for a few minutes. And then, 'sometimes, it'll feel as though your heart's been torn out and stamped on. sometimes you'll wonder why you carry on. Sydney, we become better people from enduring this pain. and yes, there are some scars that will never heal. some wounds that still draw blood, but that's why we have friends to help patch those up..do you want me to tell you a story?'

And suddenly, I wasn't thinking about Gary, I wasn't thinking about Whit, I wasn't thinking about Kristen. This person understood me. He knew. But he wasn't telling me that he knew that it would be alright. He was telling me that he knew and that it wouldn't be alright, but that he wanted to help me, that he cared enough to see me through. And I wanted to listen. The story he told me...broke my heart. And yet, I knew that he *did* understand. And the rest of the barrier was gone. Perhaps he didn't know. Perhaps he thought my finger was the most I was going to do, but he did understand the extent of the possibility. And it was amazing. And now...he makes me unbelievably happy. He'll never know how much. He'll never understand how he filled that hole that Kristen started, that Whit widened, that Gary hurt. And there is no gap that he doesn't fill that I need someone else for, and that's why I can be myself, why I feel comfortable being what I thought I'd never win back from Kristen. But I have. And he's healed me. Completely. At the game Friday night, I hugged Kristen. Last night, Whit and I watched a movie. And this morning, I woke up and realized just what I have that I never want to lose. Sometimes the love of someone else frees you up to think that you can face life on your own.

And so...that's why I want to help. I've helped some of you, but perhaps only once or twice, and still, it is only a few of you. Please, I just had a friend in RL that thought he was alone and made a huge mistake...because he thought he had no one to turn to. I don't want that to happen to anyone else. I want to help. If you ever feel alone, you're not. Talk to me. Please.

Wee! ^^

2004-09-04T18:42:55Z

Wow, the wind is SO high here that you can go outside and lean back into it 45 degrees! Something crazy like 60 MPH, kinda hard to drive in, as I found out this morning. ^^; The hurricane ended up landing *right* where it would for it to be the worst for us, but it lessened before it hit, so now we basically have storms and very high wind, but that's it. We'll be fine. It's all good, and the leaniness is SO much fun! ^^

Anyway, last night, the football game was tons of fun - we creamed them 52 to 7 - and it made me think I need to try harder to become more involved with some people from school. They're still teen girls and are constantly preoccupied with guys and clothes, but they're nice, I guess...or they try to be what they think is nice. ^^ So maybe I should give them a chance.

Also on the note of friends, I'm having my friend Whit over tonight to get some pizza and watch a movie, that apparently has my twin in it. If you've ever seen "Ten Things I Hate About You," Kat is supposedly my RL twin - attitude, not looks. o0 I don't know if this is good or bad, but I'll find out tonight! ^ ~

*hugs for all*

Well, well, well...

2004-09-03T20:12:42Z

Got my Algebra II test back. 77, which may I point out, is 7 points ABOVE passing? ^ ~ But anyway, there's football game tonight that I'm going to because Asheton and Josh want to hang out with me. Should be mooch fun, or at least I'm expecting it to be. That's if I go. ^^; That's the problem with RL me. If I'm not super-committed to going somewhere, I usually don't...it's not like I write off my super bestest friends, but they have each other there, so if I didn't go, at least they won't be lonely...or that's my logic at least. ^^;

Um...lessee...not much going on here I guess...hurricane should be ok now. I don't really wanna leave. >> Too much hassle. Oh, and my finger hurts like you wouldn't believe. I accidently reached for a doorknob with that hand today and jumped back when I gripped and kinda whimpered. Anyway, I guess that's it.

Wee and oh no!

2004-09-02T20:01:02Z

Very good things and very bad things today.

Very Good Things:

> I got a 104 on my Latin test today.
> I got a 110 on that chemistry test - making my average a 103.
> My World History teacher wants me to be her Honour Guard, AKA crazy money for a couple of hours grading work each week.
> The art club's year project this year is a madrigal feast - yeehaw!

Very Bad Things:

> My Algebra test just seems to be getting lower and lower as I think about it.
> My mom had abdominal surgery today.
> The hurricane changed directions a bit, possibly to hit us even worse.
> I don't get the day off school tomorrow so I can't help pack or get ready.
> My dad's plane broke down before he ever got on it, so he can't get back, so we probably can't leave to evacuate even if we really, really, really should.
> This hurricane is going to ruin my entire holiday weekend.
> My finger is SO broken that even I am now beginning to admit that I need it to be seen, but then I can't write or type if they try to fix it.

Wow...looks worse now that I write it down. - -;

finn_celtia @ 2004-09-01T18:16:00

2004-09-01T22:21:29Z

Ok, packing now. And leaving soonly I suppose. Maybe tomorrow afternoon, maybe a bit later. If the hurricane hits north of Saint Augustine, we'll probably get 13-18 feet of flood waters. o0 That's BIG.

But anyway, totally bombed my Algebra II test today. TOTALLY, like you have no idea. I'm thinking...35 if I'm lucky. - -; I forgot what vertical lines were, but somehow I managed to remember Line Regression postulates and Correlation Coeffiecient calculation methods. How I ask you, how?! *dies* But I did get back my Chemistry test. 96. I didn't even read the chapter or do the worksheets. - -;

Ack, also must add this. My dad is flying back from Oklahoma City to help us pack and get out in a timely fashion. School still hasn't been cancelled, which scares me. o0 I only have 5 absent days for this semester - I can't miss some for a stoooopid hurricane. xX Oh, and one more thing, my mom is the queen bitch of drama. She's running around the house crying and screaming. Why? Perhaps we shall never know.

Hurricane Time!

2004-08-31T22:32:58Z

Woohoo! Oh God, this is great. ^^ Ok, category 4 hurricane, almost a 5, headed straight for us! Evacuation Friday probably, mom's surgery the day before. Oh goodness... *rubs hands together* Everyone is freaking. I feed off this. ^^

Clickie.</a>

I'm the dot, my loves. So, needless to say, as it is forecasted to hit us this weekend, perhaps I shall have to evacuate soonly...maybe. I wanna stay. - -; I lurve storms, especially dangerous ones. >> I should stay and watch the house. ^ ~

Woohoo!

2004-08-31T20:23:34Z

Another hurricane so far headed straight towards us - which I, personally, think is awesome. I love storms. ^^ My mom's at Home Depot right now getting all the rest of the plywood they have to cover the stainglass windows. ^ ~ Should be fun. But anyway, I spanked that Chemistry test today! And this uber gothic guy I've been bumping into everywhere in the halls *tackled* me at lunch and then said, "I've been wanting to meet you forever..." We got to talking. Neato guy. ^^ Tomorrow, however, is Algebra II. *curls up in a ball and whimpers*

Much to tell, but I really don't have the energy. Dreamy stuff.

parties

2004-08-29T22:50:46Z

Eee! Ok, I'm back, officially. ^^ *tackle hugs to everyone*

But while I was gone, dammit, Nacht, I know it was a LONG time ago that we talked about this, but you got me thinking.
I know almost all people go through a stage or more where they don't believe in God, be it "because everyone else is doing it" or maybe something happens that actually personally shakes their tenets. Neither are my case. I do know however that there are three things wrong with me: I'm completely open-minded, I'm insatiably curious, and I plain old think too much:

In complete and utter short, I just came to the conclusion that since God fulfills every single need that humans have, it's just to much against logic. He fills all of our faults, he is always loving and watching us, he trust us with his greatest creation - the world.

I. If we didn't have God, wouldn't we be top in the universe? It's unimaginable to be the apex of such a large area as faulted as we are.

II. We have a need for a moral code to make quality of life tolerable, but would worldly punishment be enough to keep us on the track of morality? Of course not. That's when you need eternal damnation to back you up.

III. Humans have been worshipping different gods and goddesses for millennia, and yet, so many people we've got it right this time. Zeus, Thor, the Great Spirit: what makes our God this time so different from all of them?

Dunno, I'm just being stupid. - -; And that's only a few reasons.

Myeh...

2004-08-28T23:41:05Z

Just one more day. - - 'Tis painful, very, very, very painful.

seethes

2004-08-28T00:16:52Z

This weekend is PURE torture! >< I can't properly get on - besides my 20 freakin' minutes a day - until Sunday, after church. Do you have ANY idea how heartbreaking that is or for that matter, how QUICKLY I'd kill my parents right now? I've spent every waking moment for this past week with them...you have...NO...clue...

finn_celtia @ 2004-08-26T18:25:00

2004-08-26T22:30:35Z

Ok, MOOCHLY better day. ^^

> I feel about 100% better - perhaps it was the threat of getting blood drawn.

> I am getting caught up in school, at least for now.

> Not having puter access, I've been drawing tons and I've finally got my style down to something that I can almost tolerate...after...what...2 years? ^^; I'm a slow learner.

> But dammit, my mom just made me get my hair trimmed. It now looks less "shaggy" according to her. It's not too short or anything...it just looks to neat, yaknow?

*hugs to all and much love* See you guys *for real* Saturday or Sunday. ^ ~

Myeh...Once Again

2004-08-25T21:14:20Z

Let's see...today...well, my sickness is getting *uber* weird. I get out of bed in the morning and get back into bed at night and in between, I feel like I'm moving under water and I barely have the energy to stay awake. And yet I'm getting 10 hours of sleep every night. o0 That is CRAZY. I just feel so lifeless...it's really odd. *slaps self* Get happy, dammit!

Ack, must go. >> I will read all your entries when I get a chance. *hugs to all*

curls up in a ball

2004-08-25T01:30:24Z

Ok, I could rant and rant and rant and rant...but I won't. Instead, bleh. [First off, apparently this week isn't good for my entire family. o0 My cousin, Bob Wickman, who plays in Major League baseball, hit a guy in the arm last night when he was pitching. Poor Bob.] Anyway.

> My sickness has now turned into a VERY high fever - which leaves me with no energy - and nobody in RL could care less.

> My parents are being downright cruel. [Especially about the comp. "You can go on for 20 minutes. Wait, no you can't. *pulls puter plug*"]

> Apparently, my finger IS broken. How do I know this? Well, part of the bone is sticking out and it's beginning to hurt. *whimpers*

> I can barely keep awake and yet I have 2 100 question tests tomorrow.

> I'm totally lost in Chemistry and see no way whatsoever of catching up because I might as well be invisible to the teacher.

> Blossom might have Parvo and die in the next 24 hours - although personally, I doubt it [I have a good feeling and these sort of "feelings" of mine are rarely wrong], but the Vet says she probably does.

Basically, I'm just trying to stay happy. It gets more difficult daily and not talking to the people I love most...isn't helping. You know who you are and I need you three desperately.

finn_celtia @ 2004-08-23T19:52:00

2004-08-23T23:58:52Z

Myeh, apparently I get *some* time now. o0 These people are such rollercoasters. Ah well. I'm taking meds that slow me down and make me act stupid. Actifed, if you know it. Terrible sinus infection, but then I want to throw up...apparently my ailment is having an identity crisis. And I'm SO sleepy - like I wasn't before - and goofy like all getout. >< And every motion feels like it's underwater...ah well. I need to go to the doctors. My dad thinks when I fell, I broke my finger. The only thing is that is should have hurt more, but knowing me and my pain threshold, it *did* hurt and I just didn't know it. >> I don't want to go to the doctor's though...what can they do? It's probably already set. That's my argument. And it doesn't hurt much. Myeh, I'll be fine.

GRR!

2004-08-22T15:58:45Z

Ok, I'm grounded from the computer for a "week plus," whatever the HELL that is. >> I'm really upset... A.] I didn't even do it, B.] they yelled at me from 12 until 4 in the morning and I was SO sick before and now it's just getting worse, not to mention I'm absolutely exhausted going into a week of VERY difficult school. Oh, and as if I couldn't hack the coming week, I'm now alone and can't talk to the only people I love, the only thing that gets me through a NORMAL week. Joy of joys.

Yaoi Corporation International HQ

READ!!!

Wee! ^^

OH DEAR GOD!

Blah Blah Blah

Wee...

Wee! Horny!

Myeh-ish Eee!

Myeh...

Eee! MUST See!

Puppy!

Hmm...

Wee! ^^

Well, well, well...

Wee and oh no!

finn_celtia @ 2004-09-01T18:16:00

Hurricane Time!

Woohoo!

*parties*

Myeh...

*seethes*

finn_celtia @ 2004-08-26T18:25:00

Myeh...Once Again

*curls up in a ball*

finn_celtia @ 2004-08-23T19:52:00

GRR!

parties

seethes

curls up in a ball